I hear the following a lot from readers: I don’t want my photo taken until I lose weight, I hate the way I look on camera, etc” – I would just like to say that I feel/felt the same way not too long ago.
Dear “Struggling With Insecurities”,
I am writing is to tell you to stay strong, and always believe in yourself!
I have struggled a long time with finding my true self, and embracing who I am, and loving myself fully. It has been 30 years, and though I may not be fully there yet, over these last few weeks there has been some significant improvements. I used to always be insecure about myself; worrying about what people are thinking or saying about me, what they are doing in their life, how pretty or smart they are, comparing myself to them. I always felt like I had to do something to get up to their league.
It wasn’t until the last few weeks when I registered, and started, a few courses I wanted to do, that something shifted.
I started an online workshop a couple weeks ago with Sue Bryce. One of the best things I have taken away from that is I have to stop getting in my own way. All that worrying about everyone else was getting in the way of me being truly happy and successful in my life and business! I didn’t even think that I could be the one stopping me from everything I have always wanted, but I was!
Everything I thought about myself, or others was being projected out there, and being sent back to me in the never-ending cycle of self-doubt. Ever since I shifted my way of thinking (i.e. I am just as good of a photographer as “Jane Doe”, I AM doing a good job raising my girls, it doesn’t matter what that person thinks, it matters what I think!), I feel like the real me just came back from a looooooooooooong vacation!
Also, I also enrolled in a course called One-On-One Words with Jenika McDavitt. Jenika gave me some AMAZING feedback after reviewing my website in the first week of our course. I couldn’t believe how much she tuned into who I am, and saw some of my insecurities just in the content of my website. This was one of the first moments I took a step back and actually saw how I subconsciously projected myself, my old self, into my website and business.
Since I became a mom, one of my biggest insecurities has been my appearance. So much so that I have avoided being in front of the camera like the plague!
I recently had my photos taken to update my “About Me” page on my website, and also to put myself in the same (somewhat uncomfortable) place I put my clients every week! Let me tell you, I was sooooooo nervous, and anxious, but it turned out to be quite an awesome experience.
But even though I overcame the fear and got in front of the camera, when it came to choosing one of the photos I had taken to put on the site, I still picked the photo of me with my camera up to my face taking a picture, to which Jenika noted …
“After reading more about you, I also can’t help but wonder if you’re hiding behind the camera in that photo just a little ;)”
I didn’t know it at the time, but that is totally what I did, and the reasoning behind it! The camera was like my security blanket in that photo, and it made me feel better that the camera was distracting everyone’s eye from me.
So in the spirit of embracing my insecurities, and getting out of my own way, I want to share those pictures with you all, and face one of my fears :)
So here we go, with a big shout out to Christy D. Swanberg for these lovely photos …